Creating a feeling

Hi coach!

I am currently going through a situation at home. My husband cheated and the bottom line is that I want to forgive him. But when I think about forgiving him I feel shame. Like I dont deserve to go through this. Here is my model:

C: Husband said “I slept with someone else”
T: If I forgive him I will look like a fool
F: Shame
A: Not talking to people about it + Dont moving forward to figure our relationship out + I avoid him and others + I punish myself
R: I feel distant from the world

I want to feel proud of forgiving him, but I dont know where to start with the thought. I have reasons for forgiving him:
– I love him
– I know he loves me
– He is sorry
– I love our relationship
– I know that the fact doesnt mean anything about our worth as persons (mine nor his)
– I want to keep the relationship

I love my reasons, but none of this thought makes me feel proud of forgive him. Any advise on where to start?