I’ve been in scholars 9 months now! Crazy! I just realized today that I create drama and irritation/anger for myself. I’ve spent a lot of my scholars time learning to handle anxiety and reduce the amount of anxiety I create for myself. As I’ve gotten rid of that anxiety, I’ve found myself creating this other drama. This is an example from today …

C: Coworker does something that results in more work for me
T: Every blaming thought I have goes here … She never does her job right. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She screwed up again, so I have more work to do.
F: Angry
A: Spending time arguing with co-worker about how this could have been avoided. Complaining to others about her
R: I have even less time to get my work done.

This situation would have only taken me 10 extra minutes out of my day, but because of my thinking, it took me an hour! I’m not going to change this co-worker. Logically, I see that if I allow her to be her and I just do my job, it is all a lot easier. I notice that I do this a lot with many different situations. I make the drama (and looking back, I’ve done this my entire life … it used to be my siblings and now it’s my coworkers 😂) and I almost think I’m using it as a buffer from other emotions I’m trying to avoid (today it was restless, bored). With emotions that I habitually create, is it just practicing allowing them and working on intentionally creating other thoughts? That is what I’ve done with anxiety since I’ve started: I allow it more now, but also am mindful of when I’m unnecessarily creating it with my thinking, so have changed though thoughts. Just wondering if that translates to the other emotions. Thanks for all you do! It was great to see you at Modelthon. Love, A drama Queen