creating uncertainty in my relationship

Sometimes I have thoughts that create uncertainty for me in my relationship. I do love my boyfriend and I have no reason to leave him. Sometimes I think I’m young and maybe I shouldn’t be settling down right now.

We talk about what our wedding will be like, how many kids we want, the house we want, etc. I feel like that definitely adds pressure to everything. Sometimes I think I’d like to be single because I really like this new version of me and I’ve never really lived alone before.

I do have a manual for my boyfriend that I’m trying to dismantle but when I feel uncertain about those things I wish he’d do to make me feel better, I think I could probably find that in someone else.

This uncertainty seeps into all areas of my life like my career and daily decisions. I feel like I’m also going back and forth. Then I feel shame for second-guessing my relationship or my career. Insight into what I can’t see for myself would be really helpful!

Unintentional Model

C- Relationship with my boyfriend
T- I’m missing out
F- Uncertain
A- Talk to another boy, think of that other boy, think of things I don’t like about my boyfriend, not reinforce my love for my boyfriend, question our relationship, contemplate downloading a dating app
R- I create more uncertainty

Intentional Model

C- Relationship with my boyfriend
T- Sometimes I will have thoughts that create uncertainty for me
F- Compassion
A- Remind myself what I love about my boyfriend, remind myself why I’m dating him, not entertain other boys, not download dating apps, ask myself why I’m having these thoughts
R- I honor myself and my relationship