Critical Life Question

Hey Brooke,

My husband and I got married six years ago. He is 18 years older than me and will turn 60 this coming January.
When we started dating we never spoke about having children. I grew up thinking I don’t care for having children not even getting married. I just wanted to find a good partner to live with and indeed I have.

I never wanted to babysit children, most times children annoy me, and I tend to manage my patience around them for up to one hour.
When I think of the experience of having a child I have absolutely no desire to experience the pregnancy nor the care required afterwards.

Friends and other people we meet ask us if we have kids, if we are working on having kids and I always answer simply that we don’t. I don’t feel a need to give explanations nor do I think in this day and age that it’s anyone’s business. My husband always gives a more diplomatic answer because he feels everyone expects us to want to have and to have had by now.

Last week my husband asked to have a serious conversation and said that he realized he will turn 60 soon and decided he wants to have a baby. He thought it through and he wants to be a father.
It caught me by surprise and I told him I cannot give him a definite answer yet. I feel that even if I could try to trick my head into believing that once I’ll have a child I will probably be happy/happier person, that it’s the greatest experience any woman can have, I truly don’t believe in that.

Also, I think it’s a huge sacrifice to make just so that my husband will get to fulfill this need of his. It’s not like let’s try to live in Colorado for a year and if it won’t work we can always return to NYC. It’s a new circumstance that changes everything.

So he agreed to give me two weeks to think it through. I asked him what if I come back and say I don’t want to. He said he is not sure yet but he thinks he will have to live with it as he doesn’t want to divorce me.

I think it’s a huge sacrifice to ask from each one of us. From someone who really wants to be a father, not to be. And from someone who doesn’t want to have children, to become a mother and take on this lifetime commitment.

Can you see any solution to this?