Cultivating satisfaction with work


I am recognizing a pattern in myself where I am frequently dissatisfied, typically around work and money. This comes up in all my jobs including my current one. I also see it in work that I create for myself. This is the biggest problem. My partner has pointed out that where I am right now is way beyond where I was this time last year, specifically with my business. I haven’t been recognizing that, just looking ahead to what I don’t have.

I know that I want to make plenty of money for myself (for me that would be $2500 – $3000/month), work fewer hours than I currently do, and be doing something meaningful. I currently work part time at a health food store making $15/hour and have a table at the farmers market where I sell some botanical products I make, taking in between $100 and $300 per month. Total I am bringing in between $1000 and $1400 per month. I’m pretty exhausted, feel uninspired, and like what I am doing is not that meaningful, which I know is a thought. The farmers market was an attempt to create some financial autonomy for myself and experiment in supporting myself, see if I like the market. The thing is, I am not really enjoying it anymore, which has to be caused by a thought. But this is also just what happens with me and work – I lapse into negative thought patterns that create dissatisfaction. Maybe I need to dream more and make a business that I love? I’m lacking a bigger vision here that I feel committed to. I want to break this bigger pattern around work, money, and satisfaction. I feel pretty stuck. I am trying to imagine myself making $2500 per month , working less, having more fun and its hard to really go there. I feel like a little grouch!!! Any suggestions for deepening into this and getting out of “stuck”?

C- farmers market
T- I don’t like it
F – burdened
A – procrastinate preparing, drag my feet, hem and haw, think about quitting, think about what else I could be doing that would make me happier/how my business is wrong
R – I create a situation I don’t like

C
T its possible I can make $2500 per month while having fun
F willing
A – create more than $2500 in value, offer it to people, relax, do things i enjoy
R – I make $2500 per month and have a lot of fun