I don’t like how I show up as a Mom right now. I’m not saying that in a way to put myself down I just know I can do better and show up in a way I want to.
Currently I feel like I am so bossy, mean, a b*tch, hurrying everyone, stressed and tired.
In my mind I feel like if I just had a little more space to myself to take care of me I wouldn’t be reacting from such an empty cup. It’s seems like the more I want to be alone the more they seem to want and need me.
I like how I show up when I’ve taken care of me and am following my desires and goals.
I want to show up more feminine, loving, kind, soft and present.
I think these would be my models:
C: Take a specific action (Rolling eyes, sighing, rushing ) OR Say words to children (hurry up, clean up this mess, if you didn’t make such a mess I wouldn’t have to spend so much time cleaning it, how come you guys can’t go play?)
T: I don’t like how I act
A: Tell myself to try harder being a mom, should myself, get overly giving to children which then leads to resentment because I don’t take care of me, guilt self, withdraw and journal, Journal about how to “fix” self, models, personal development, take it out on them with nagging and Shoulds.
R: continue to behave in a way I don’t like
C: Same as above
T: I must need a break
A: let go of trying to do anything not important in the moment (cleaning, answer calls, emails, schooling)
Take care of me in that moment (eat, stretch, drink of water etc.)
Sit down with maybe a cup of coffee and breathe
Stop moving around the house and just sit and breathe. Remind myself it’s not important, my health body and mind and family are what’s important.
R: Act very kind, loving and feminine to myself.