Currently homeless cousin wants to live with me


My currently homeless cousin wants to live with me. I want to help her. She does not have a license and would have to travel to get a job. I am worried that she won’t get a job and will be at the house all the time.

I want to help her better her life, get her in a healthier situation so she has a chance to rebuild her life, and I also enjoy my alone time in my house. She does have Assistance Agency Lease to pay rent, and also, she doesn’t have the best track record for having or keeping a job.

Her goal is to be able to have a solid place to live to be able to see her children. One unfortunate thing after another seems to befall her, and though she keeps pushing on, I feel she is in a catch 22, and does not know how to see past survival mode. She is college educated, had been a police officer, in the service, has 2 beautiful young children, and does have quite a strong inclination for blame and shame for herself and others.

I would like to provide her a leg up, but also want to make sure I stay solid and maintain my stability, growth, and not become an enabler.

Also, I am in a fairly new relationship that eventually I would like my boyfriend to be able to visit and stay overnight at my house. I am not sure how that would work with my cousin as a “room-mate”.

I know this is a lot to coach on. I greatly appreciate you assisting me in arranging my thoughts and feelings about this situation, so I can take the best action for myself and her.