I had my daughter’s birthday party yesterday and it went well. We came home and was chatting away. My mum and dad were in the house as well. We self catered the party.
3 unintentional models:
C- Dad said “sushi is not salty enough”
T- he is criticising me
F- unloved
A- I stopped chatting away happily with my daughter and Mum. I became quiet. I went back to old memories of how he didn’t love me. I am telling myself that I am a lousy cook.
R- I am criticising myself

C- Dad said “sushi is not salty enough”
T- My dad is always focusing on the negative, never the positive
F- Blame
A- I am thinking “no wonder I am getting all this negative outlook in life if I grew up with a dad like him”.
R- I am only focusing on the negative

C- Dad said “sushi is not salty enough”
T- He needs to always appreciate all that I do.
F- angry
A- I wanted to say “well next time you can do the cooking” (and he really never does any cooking apart from boiling water and instant noodle). I wanted to say “just don’t bother coming to my daughter’s party if you are just going to complain”. I wanted to say “you didn’t even help out with cooking and cleaning up so you have no right to complain”. (I didn’t say those things as I would have to shout at him – he’s very hard of hearing. But really wanted to say those)
R- I am wasting my mental energy and not appreciating myself.

Intentional model
C- Dad said “sushi is not salty enough”
T- oh yes, dad is free to say whatever he wants and I have my T to protect me.
F- unbothered
A- Chatting away happily with my Mum and daughter
R- Joy