Daily Homework


I am finding a pattern in my daily homework that I’m not sure how to change. For the intentional model, instead of changing my past, my models are mostly turning out on how to change my future. I do my unintentional model, and then I usually start my intentional with either the feeling or action I wish I had had, which usually leads me to a thought that will serve me when I experience the same situation in the future, but doesn’t really change how I see yesterday’s event. When I’m done with both models it ends up feeling like, “I messed up yesterday, but this is how I will do better in the future.” But since this is about how to change your past, this makes me think I’m supposed to be coming to the conclusion that yesterday was ok even if I did mess up??? Is this correct? If so, how can I learn to make the intentional models past-focused rather than future-focused? Here’s an example:

Unintentional:
C – I yell at my kids
T – I wish I didn’t do this.
F – disappointed
A – lose motivation and energy, give up, don’t try, think I can’t change
R – I don’t change and I keep doing it.

Intentional:
Here I started with the A to get the F, T and R.
C – I yell at my kids
T – I will love and respect myself and my children.
F – respect
A – stop yelling. Apologize and treat my kids with respect.
R – I treat myself and my kids with respect.

See how that doesn’t really change my past, but it could change my future? Am I supposed to do it differently to change the past?