I decided to make the money first before I hire my business coach again.
Now I need to tell her that I want to postpone my decision until August.

UM 1
C Tell business coach that I want to postpone my decision until August
T She’ll think I was insincere
F Guilty
A Spin thoughts that I misguided her
R Found evidence for being insincere

UM 2
C Tell business coach that I want to postpone my decision until August
T She won’t understand me
F Rejected
A Question my choice
R Not understanding myself anymore

I think the following intentional model could work for both:

UM
C Tell business coach that I want to postpone my decision until August
T This is my choice and I own it
F Self-confident
A Decline offer and move on, don’t look back or spin thoughts
R Made a choice and owned it

Learnings: I concisely declined her offer via e-mail. She sent a long message back. I didn’t dare to read it yet.
Okay, let’s just do another dare:

UM
C E-Mail from business coach
T She probably tells me that I suck
F Rejected
A do not dare to read e-mail, look for evidence that I annoyed her
R Told myself that I suck in advance in my head

IM
C E-Mail from business coach
T I made my choice and own it – no matter what she thinks about it
F Self-confident
A Read e-mail, interpret her words as her thoughts and feelings
R Owned my choice and let her be her

I’ve read the email now. I felt a stab in my stomach. My throat got tight. I didn’t die although my brain was suggesting this.
I’m happy I didn’t postpone reading the email. I guess it would have prolonged my fears.
She makes my decision mean a bunch of stuff. I agree with some things, others I see differently.