Hi. I am doing the Self Confidence workbook in which the homework is to complete a dare of the day.
A couple of days ago I decided that my dare for the day would be to send a message to a friend I have lost touch with. I felt the fear, I witnessed the thoughts. And at first she didn’t respond. Now she has and I’d like some coaching on it.
C: Friend said she thought I would have “at least” texted her to tell her personally that I got engaged and bought a house. She said “there are other examples of how I feel we have really grown apart” and “after having [my kids] you never really made any attempt to contact me and at least see how I was doing or keep connected”
My thoughts are:
T: It is true that I didn’t tell her personally that I got engaged, bought a house or reached out to her when her youngest kid was born.
T: I am not sure what was going on with me at the time.
T: I was going through a rough time with my mental health from Nov 2019-Nov 2020, and before that, too
T: I missed an opportunity to connect when her son was born. (regret)
T: I can’t change the past now
T: I am still worthy regardless of what I did in the past and what she thinks of me
T: She feels let down because she thinks I should have behaved a certain way that was different from how I actually behaved in reality
T: It’s not like she tried to connect with me either
T: why does everyone think it’s my responsibility to reach out to them?
T: I can understand why she might be hurt
T: We used to be best friends
T: This is my fault
T: I also feel like we have grown apart
T: I am not sure what to think about all of this yet
T: I am still processing