My dare for today was basically to lead with love where my boss was concerned. A bit of backstory, my job fits into my life nicely because it not only pays the bills but it allows me plenty of time for my true love, which is writing. Also I work with a group who are like family. However, I cannot stand working for my boss! It’s not that I hate her as a person (although I most definitely do not love her), I just really hate working for her. I know having a manual for another person is pointless, but I still end up thinking, why can’t she follow through, why does she put people down, why does she have such high standards, etc. etc. Okay, this is obviously where my much-needed thought work comes in. Why can’t I put that manual down? I know I’m giving her the power over me, and she’s the last person I would want to have power over me. If I can change my thoughts about her, I will feel so much better and improve my relationship with her. Somedays this works out really well and I feel great. This month in particular I’ve really challenged myself to accept her as is and to love her as a human being. I think/feel like I’m failing at that. I have such negative thoughts! I’m not beating myself up over it (that would be self-indulgent) but I’m disappointed because I didn’t complete today’s dare, but it was not a total loss because I know it is my mind that needs managing and that I can feel loving toward a non loved one, since I’m the one who experiences the love. If I know all this, why is it still so hard? Will it ever get easier? I’ve been trying everyday!
Interestingly enough, I’m finding I keep meeting many versions of my boss throughout my life and if I can learn how to have a healthy relationship with her, it just may break that negative cycle. Any advice?
Thank you!