I did my model for my dare today, but I’m not sure I did it right and I definitely have not created any feeling of self-confidence from it.

Dare: Ask my boyfriend to watch my son so I can go get my nails done and also not feel guilty about asking or going.

Thoughts:
I should be spending my free time with my boyfriend and my son instead of doing something for myself. Same with spending money on myself. We have goals and using money towards something else sets us back. I love spending time with them but sometimes I just want to do something alone. I’m a bad mom for wanting to get away for a little while. I don’t do enough for them. I don’t sacrifice enough for them.

C: I have a dare to ask my boyfriend if I can get my nails done and to not feel guilty for asking.
T: I shouldn’t spend time and money away from the boys.
F: Guilty
A: I don’t ask to do something for myself.
R: I continue rejecting myself and my needs and eventually start to feel resentment and frustration towards them.

New Model
C: I have a dare to ask my boyfriend if I can get my nails done and to not feel guilty for asking.
T: Having time for myself helps me be myself and show up better for my boys to be the best mother I can be.
F: Self-confidence
A: I talk to my boyfriend about getting my nails done today.
R: I complete the dare.

Result after I do the dare: I still feel guilty.

Why: Spending the money, wanting to be alone when I should want to be with them. Does that make me a bad mom? I’m not there every day. I think I’m still upset that I’m working full time now. I miss being home with my son and getting to be with him all day. And now that I am working, I still need my time alone to recharge. That’s just who I am. I just wish I didn’t have to be working full time. I wish we could magically pay off all our debt without me working. Or at least me working a job where I could make my own hours work for us and still make the money I’m making now.

I guess the real guilt isn’t from leaving the baby with my boyfriend to do something alone for myself, the guilt is really from me going back to work full time and not getting to spend as much time with my baby as I used to.

My question now is what do we do when the new thought we are using to help us feel self-confidence isn’t working and just brings up new problems? Should I be following that and running another model on the new issue or am I doing the original model wrong?