Dares and races

Hi Brooke
Congratulations on your big move! All the best.
I am finding this month’s work the most powerful so far. The Dare of the Day project is knocking my socks off. So, honestly, I didn’t think I was quite so fearful as I am but that is what this program is all about – to uncover, change, and evolve. One Dare in particular was around a 5K trail running race that I did yesterday. I use races as motivation to stay fit and it has worked but I never thought very deeply about what other motivations might be at play. This past week, though, I did models on it because I knew that I get nervous before every race and one was coming up. What I uncovered was that I had a fear of being last, of being judged, and that I needed to prove something – that I was expecting failure and was anticipating feeling bad. Yeeesh. So I worked on intentional models with self-confidence and decided that I would focus on being pleased and amazed at what my body could do and that the outcome was not important. I have to say that I felt so much more enjoyment before and during the race – although I had to keep my thoughts on track during the race when others were passing me. Progress!
I also have a question – some of my dares don’t seem to relate to a fear, but more feelings of guardedness and reserve (like being aloof with people, and daring myself to become more approachable). I am still using those because I wonder if I just haven’t gone deep enough to find the fear. I suspect ultimately I may find a fear of rejection (just listened to that podcast today – awesome). So should I perhaps repeat some of those during the month and see if I can get deeper? Or keep doing different things each day?
Thanks for all your help!