Thanks in advance Coaches! Thanks also to all the Scholars, I appreciate learning from your questions so very much!
My models are in the theme of “5 pounds stronger.” Years ago, before I knew about thought work, I started doing weight training specifically so I could let go of very restrictive eating, which at the time I thought was the only way I could stay slim. With more muscle, I weigh more than my prior “ideal number,” and I am bigger with more tone, though I still wear mostly the same clothes, they’re just a little tighter, fine. Now, I also have a sustainable protocol that is satisfying and healthy, and with thought work I’ve also stopped the occasional overeating. All great so far. I notice I still have skeptical thoughts and dissatisfaction about the scale number and about being bigger. I’ve done the amazingly helpful worksheets on neutralizing the scale (which was also suggested to someone else’s question yesterday or earlier today), and I’ve done the exercise Brooke talks about where you weigh multiple times during one day to show myself that the ups/downs are constant. Both of these were so helpful. I shifted focus to data on body fat percentage and even ratios of body fat to muscle mass. I think this came from a good place of wanting to reassure myself with data. However I also know that my scale isn’t actually accurate/consistent measuring those things. I also got curious about why I felt I needed this data, and in my thought download, I realized that I don’t trust my eyes, the mirror, or photos that it’s possible to look okay at this weight and size. I did an unintentional model for that, but when I worked on the intentional model, I think I was switching models to enjoy my good thoughts/feels about my food and exercise protocols instead of actually getting better perspective about the scale/data? Pragmatically this seems fine, but I’m still curious what else I can learn from my thoughts about the scale/data.
C numbers for weight, body fat, muscle mass
T I want data to confirm that my current body composition is better than when I was unsustainably smaller
A I don’t trust my eyes; I focus on being bigger; I don’t celebrate or value how sustainable and satisfying and healthy my protocols are
R I generate lack
T my current protocols are what I would do regardless of the numbers
A keep doing protocols; remember that my scale isn’t actually accurate for the type of data analysis I’m interested in; try to release desire for confirmation that my current body composition is better
R I generate self trust
Maybe I just need more practice with trying to release the desire for my own confirmation that this body composition is better. Or, maybe a radical shift to something like: regardless of “better,” this is what is. Any suggestions, corrections, and additional questions are much appreciated!