I was writing out a list of goals for myself for 2021 and to my surprise, none of the goals involved being in a relationship.  It was a surprise because I’ve spent a lot of time on dating apps and going on dates lately so it seems like my actions aren’t really aligned with my goals here.

I feel stuck between two thoughts.  One thought is something I’ve told myself since I was a child:  “Once you get married and have kids, your life is officially over”.  Kind of a funny thought for a 10 year old but maybe this has become a belief.  It might explain why I tend to date extremely inappropriate or unavailable men.

On the other hand, I think I could very much enjoy eventual marriage and kids if I found someone I liked enough.  But is this belief blocking me from being attracted to the right man?  I guess I’ll have to figure that one out.

When it comes to dating, people tend to say “when you stop looking, he comes along”.  I like thinking of it that way, but it doesn’t really align with The Model.  If the R line is for a relationship, wouldn’t you think we’d have to do some stuff in the A line other then just “stop looking”? Apparently a relationship isn’t a goal of mine so perhaps that would be my A line at the end of the day?