I’m having a lot of thoughts in relationship to dating.
I’m wanting to find someone attractive, interesting, supportive and fun, and for them to find me attractive, interesting, supportive and fun.
I realize there are many people I do not find attractive and trying to be slightly flexible with this – not a lot, but a little. This seems like a good thing.
When I see people that I am attracted to, I think they won’t like me or find me attractive or I will somehow put them off. I don’t have the same worry with people I’m less attracted to (physically, humor, intellect, job/status, etc).
For example, there are probably 10 or so men I am communicating with on dating sites – not met any of them in person yet, have spoken on the phone with two of them and won’t meet anyone for a week. There are two that I am most attracted to. I’ve been working on feeling abundant and believing in my ability to create $ for myself and my family in the next year – I am making some progress in this area, however still have a long way to go and see many deficiencies when I look at myself and my process. I saw a picture of a guy in a private jet and I thought
C: picture of handsome guy in private jet
T: he won’t be into me
T: he won’t think I’m good enough for him (especially as I walk around my house and see the deficiencies in what I am doing or how things look).
T: I want to ride in my own private jet.
T: maybe that isn’t meant to happen and you have to ride in his private jet.
T: then that means I’m not good enough for him.
T: he is hot and will probably think I’m not in good enough shape, or my house is too messy, or I’m too old, or I have children, or he won’t like where I live, or that I have a pain-in-the-rear-ex or some reason he won’t like me.
All of these T’s lead to F: inadequate
A: hmmmm… beat self up and find shortcomings? Try to reset my expectations. Date people I’m not as interested in? Feel tired and want to take a nap?
R: not finding my mate or growing my business???

Then I found out he works for the government and maybe it wasn’t his private jet it was for work and I felt a little less intimidated and that there was a slight chance he might like me, but still unlikely and interested in how I didn’t think he would like me if he were rich, but he might if he’s less rich, which might be true and is also interesting. I’m trying to figure out what this is telling me and how I can learn and grow from this to develop to the next best me.

Thank you.