After the end of my marriage of 22 years I decided to work on myself and learned how to coach myself through the stages of my breakup and decided I wanted to be a life coach to help women like myself. I was single for 3 years after my divorce and dated occasionally. I decided to try on line dating and met someone right at the start and we dated for 4 years. The relationship had it’s ups and downs and I dealt with them with my coaching tools on myself. I was managing my thoughts. Unfortunately the relationship ended abruptly – out of nowhere one day he became very angry with me because I didn’t do something he wanted me to do and he had a very angry meltdown – he was yelling – was verbally abusive and just lost it in a rage. I calmly walked out of his apartment and told him he would never see me again. And he didn’t. I did not look back.
I started dating someone within months of that breakup but within months it ended because I just couldn’t follow through – My thoughts were always – what if this guy and relationship ends like the previous one – I don’t want to go through that again. As a result I have not been on a date since (3years) – just haven’t actively pursued dating. I’ve made a good life for myself – I enjoy my company – give me a book and I’ll be happy – I’m an introvert. My fear is that I will be alone for ever if I don’t get myself out there but I don’t want to put myself out there for fear of getting hurt and rejected. By the way the thought “not putting myself out there “is a problem for me because it’s also holding me back from starting my coaching business.
How do I coach myself through this?