Dating Question


The guy I am dating has said that he feels I am trying to strong arm him into a relationship and that I try to control him and put him in a box. He said that it makes him uncomfortable.

There is truth to this!! – I did realize that once I started liking him (about a month in) I began to fear being hurt and the vulnerability of liking him with out any commitment was way too scary for me (I have been betrayed in past relationships so I am trying to avoid that happening again) so I started trying to control the speed of our commitment via conversations about it, my needs, and time together. I believe this pushed him away a bit further and slowed his progress down.

I see my errors in pressuring him but how do I go into dating someone and be open to them possibly hurting me or stringing me along?

Is there a model, or something I should do to help me with this? It feels paralyzing to me in the moment and I do see how me living in such fear around vulnerability or being hurt could be detrimental to my dating life.