Dating wrong men


I left a 24-year relationship 6 months ago and have been fully enjoying being single, however I find that I am dating “the wrong men” in that as soon as I get attached, they tell me they want to be casual or we agree in casual and I get attached in a way they don’t. Some of this may be male or female and I am ok with the attachment. It is the way I am letting them have so much power over my emotions that is the problem. Initially, I went onto the dating scene thinking I just wanted causal but now I am not sure if that is what I want. What I don’t enjoy is the pain that seems to come with this type of dating.

There are 2 guys in this situation now.

C: Dating a guy who is married but told me he was separated
T: I am wasting my time and setting myself up for hurt but we have so much fun together I don’t want to let it go
F: Confused
A: Play hot and cold to try to protect myself but also enjoy the fun
R: I live in a constant state of on and off emotions but actively trying to shut them down .. alternating getting annoyed at the guy or myself for allowing myself to get into this situation

C: Dating a guy with who I feel an intense connection but is long-distance I don’t see him a lot and he cancels often when he is in town. Lately, things have gone downhill causing intense feelings of heartbreak that don’t correspond logically to how much I see or talk to him
T: This guy used to make me feel so good about myself and now all I feel is pain and I want the good part back
F: Sad
A: Cry, act desperate in my texts, cried when we were last together causing a horrible last night together
R: At this time feel sorry for myself and worry about getting attached to anyone else and hurt