My model:
c- daughter
t- she is wasting her life year after year: very wrong guy, dead end job, bad attitude, waste of talent
f- sad
a- worry, can’t sleep, say nothing to her about it because she doesn’t want to hear it and I know she can make her own choices and I really love her and want to accept her choices
r- I stay upset

new thoughts I am trying to think:

-I’ve spent my life teaching her and being close to her, we are good friends: there is nothing more I could have done or could do now to help her make better choices.
-she can make her own choices, even bad ones, and it’s okay
-I cannot control her, she is an adult
-these experiences are part of her journey
-my values belong to me, they are not her values
-her life is her own choice
-the more I worry, the less I come across as loving and accepting
-she won’t be the first person on earth to waste their talent

Hmmm. I know what I should think but that doesn’t stop the gut wrench I feel when I interact with her and am faced with how much she is wasting her life (in my viewpoint). I want to feel peace and release responsibility for her choices…since I can’t control them, and have already taught her my values.

I know what the new model looks like, but how do I get there? I think the answer is bridge thoughts but I am not having much success with this.

Help, please?