Day 19-Who do I want to be in this relationship?

Brooke-I’m working on my relationship with my Mother-in-Law,. It’s a long story but the fact is I’ve had no contact with her for over 2 years. My husband has & I encourage it. She is the total opposite of me and her life choices I try hard to no longer judge but have put her in a very delicate financial situation which she often needs support from us. This has caused many arguments between my husband and I and I’m tired of her frivolous spending in the past affecting us now and possibly in the future. My husband and I are working on some boundaries for us with her when it comes to money and my husband has been supportive of my distancing myself from her. I sometimes feel guilty about this but today’s question has me rethinking my uninvolvement in her life. When you say “make sure you think about this separately from the other persons behavior & don’t let that decide who you want to be” I’m confused. I want to be a loving daughter in law but she (and I realize my thoughts) about her drive me crazy. She is so irresponsible-I’ve tried to use the Byron Katie work on her and I signed up to be coached next week. I guess my question is should I skip this question till I have more clarity? I am struggling with this and not sure if it’s a “must do” for now or it’s best to wait.
Thsbk you for your guidance and for all you do.