I really got stuck on the “who they are meant to be” question from the day 3 homework. For most of our relationship, I was trying to “help” him–which looks a lot like mothering or control. I know he lied to me about several significant issues. I find it hard to trust him now. My initial response was that I really don’t know who he is if I’m not trying to control because I’ve never seen that. But that might just be my thoughts about not being able to trust him.

I’ve tried to dig into my own thinking on this for a couple days, but I’m just spinning in circles in my head. Do I just stick to the few things that I can absolutely know to be true– “He’s funny” “He’s insecure about his accent”–and move on?

If I need to dig deeper, I need some suggestions on how to do that.