Day 4 Homework


My person for the first week of May is a new SVP at work. I don’t know if I’m getting the Day 4 homework right, because it doesn’t feel like it helped me to see this person in a better light. Could you help me with this?

Part 1: No, I do not love this person unconditionally. I only know her because she recently came to work at the company I’m at. In addition, her words and behavior have caused many unpleasant feelings from the first week she started, and they continue to do so. I “love” her when she unexpectedly says something kind or speaks in a friendly manner (rare instance). I “withhold love” when she returns a greeting in a cold and mechanical tone (or not at all), and when she is speaking in an accusatory and judgmental manner. My excuse for when I don’t “love” her is that I don’t like how I feel about her behavior or what she makes me feel about myself.

Part 2: In this relationship, I either avoid contact with her to keep interaction at a minimum (avoid pain) or I make an attempt to make a friendly greeting or start a casual conversation to connect, but it usually falls flat with a mechanical response (no smile/expression) or no response at all. This then reinforces my thoughts and feelings about her.

I should mention that in the first week she started working, she made an assessment about me and the work I was doing, without so much as one sentence exchanged, and without even being in the same room for longer than 5 minutes. Her assumptions were completely unfounded and nearly cost me my job. I still feel my job is in jeopardy and that I could still lose my job at her whim. I continue to work diligently, but constantly feel like I’m walking on eggshells. My attempts to speak one-to-one with her, only resulted in more resistance and I still cannot determine what her expectations are from me. This has been emotionally exhausting.