Dealing with an elder you live with who talks incessantly without regard for your personal boundaries?


Hi Brooke.

My 24 year old daughter is living with her boyfriend at her boyfriend’s parent’s home. My daughter has asked me to help coach her on how to deal with her boyfriend’s mother’s constant talking, complaining and backbiting. My daughter will come home from a busy day at work, say hi to the mom, and go to her room. The mom will come knock on the door to ‘ask a quick question’ and stand in the doorway and talk for a half an hour. My daughter finds this incredibly draining and aggravating. My daughter feels her potential future mother-in-law may be a narcissist and she is looking for insight on how to deal with her without hurting her feelings. I did tell my daughter that she isn’t responsible for her boyfriend’s mother’s feelings – the mother is, and my daughter understands that. Short of moving out, which isn’t an option right now, my daughter is struggling to stay sane and keep calm when her potential mother-in-law starts talking! How can she change her thoughts about this? How can she get her boyfriend’s mom to stop talking incessantly?