I have a Step-daughter who had been in my life for 25 years. My relationship with her has been a rollercoaster. I feel that she has a victim mentality and does not want to take responsibility for her life. I think what I have learned from scholars is it’s not my job to fix her, just to love her. The problem I have is that her son (our grandson) was in a really bad accident 2.5 years ago that will affect him for his life and has also affected the family. There is so much negativity around this event that I can’t get my head wrapped around. It’s sad to see how it is affecting her other two children. She and her husband both suffer from depression and have resorted to substance abuse. I try and remind myself that they are adults (40 years of age) and it is their responsibility to take control of their lives. I struggle with boundaries and what our involvement should be if any. We’ve tried talking to her but now she just ignores us unless she has something to benefit., eg. a free trip to come and see us, a free vacation, basically anything that may have a monetary value.