Hello Brooke. I recently keeping have the same thoughts come up over a time when I could have had an affair with someone, but chose to not go down that path. I don’t want to avoid the topic, if it comes up with my current partner. But, I think a lot of anxiety comes from worry about being judged. My model is below.
C: Law School
T: Think about telling partner of potential affair I could have had. (Partner and I were not together at the time, I was single)
A: Try and talk myself out of feeling bad about past actions.
R: Carry around these thoughts, like the are burdens I have to hide.
C: Law school
T: It was a challenging time where I developed values, and learned about my character.
F: Compassion for myself.
A: Love myself more.
R: Keep being fanatically, awesome.
The question I have is how to deal with the fear and anxiety that comes up when I think about talking to my partner about my past and know that he will judge me negatively for it. I want to not be hurt by the judgment and have the attitude that he can take it or leave it. It is in the past. It’s hard when I value his opinion and thoughts on so many things to balance when I will receive those thoughts and just not let others get to me. How do you suggest dealing with this?