I had a realization today when I was working through the ‘So write it down-Learn-Move on’ worksheet. I brought this out after doing my model on going off of my protocol yesterday. It was very helpful.
I came to the realization that I stuffed my emotions I was having because I thought they were wrong. I was upset about my daughter breaking up with her boyfriend, for a number of reasons, but mostly because I was worried about how the boyfriend may take it. I know I can’t protect my kids (and he seems like one of my kids cause it has been four years) , but I am still having so many thoughts about this. Even as I write this I am crying thinking about this poor kid (he is 19, but still a kid in my eyes). I know I need to support my daughter in her decision and love her unconditionally, but I can’t tell you how many failed models I have done on this. I have heard you talk about our kids and how they need to learn to live through their emotions and possible mistakes, but seriously this is so hard for me and I can’t seem to let it go.
I also know that a long term relationship at this age is pretty difficult to master. And I know that my daughter is really doing some tough work that is best for her. I also know that her boyfriend shouldn’t be with someone who doesn’t love him the way he loves her… Like I said, I have been doing a lot of thought work on this.
I want to change this around and let myself be sad and not make it about them, but I don’t know how. I also have a partner that just doesn’t understand and wants me to be over this already. So I hide my emotions and thoughts, don’t allow myself to process this because ‘I’m being stupid’ (my thoughts) and eat away my pain.
How do I change this around?
I appreciate your thoughts on this,