Dealing with the pain

Physical pain has been part of my daily life for a long time. I’ve dealt with serious medical issues since I was a small child. My main issues currently are MS and my spine is collapsing. Most of the time I handle it like a badass. I don’t identify as a victim and live life to the fullest.
But there are days when the pain is overwhelming. Days I know I need to let myself feel bad about it. I’m not sure how to let the negative emotion be there without resisting it. My inclination is to change it. I think this results in me feeling worse.
Is it compassion for my situation I’m avoiding? I’m so intent on being strong and above all this.
Thank you for your coaching.