Debt / scarcity

I keep repeating the same and I want to create a business that can help me get out of what feels like an insurmountable amount of debt.

I’ve been in that state of scarcity my entire life and I just keep recreating the same. Yet I’ve always felt I live in the Whats possible mindset— but yet creating from scarcity solving for shame and panic and it leads me down the path of feeling sorry for myself, self loathing, pity and beating myself. I was watching a scholars call the other day and I think I’m realizing is that I’m in a constant running from shame and nervousness — from childhood of hiding the truth about my family situation and riddled with shame and embarrassment since I’m old enough to remember . I went to great lengths to pretend things were fine. And I seem to do the same with money in one sense. I could file for bankruptcy but that would make matters worse in my opinion. I’ve scaled back on my other business since 2020 happened because I also lost a ton of clients and I’ve been wanting to stop the business since 2018 so I figured it was perfect opportunity to make the money I want in coaching.

Now I have a coaching business and have not been able to make more than $10k so far with one client that renewed. With the income loss and my bills the same, my debt continues to climb and my credit score is getting to a dangerous zone- my car is not in the best shape and fear losing my ability to drive. I don’t know how my daughter would get to school, not to mention even then do the clients I do have since I do need a car for that business.

So my question is how do I create abundance and practice this when everything feels like it’s getting worse and worse by the day? And I’m also indulging at the same time that I’m never gonna have the success I want as a coach. I know you are probably gonna ask if I self-coach  — but all that seems to come up is a swell of tears.