Decision Follow up- stay in Educational Admin or go back to the classroom


I’m not sure if my last question got submitted.  I’m torn as to whether to leave my educational admin job of 12 years to go back to teaching. It would be at least a 27k pay decrease but I would be teaching, making lessons, feel like I’m doing something valuable vs. managing people and overseeing their teaching, which is what I currently do and am tired of.

The fear is that I might not like teaching again as much as I thought I would and I would also then be making a lesser salary. Admin jobs like mine are hard to come by but I just don’t enjoy it. I need to stay in the educational pension system for 4 more years in order to collect my pension and 9 years until I’m 55 to actually collect it. I’ve been trying to manage my mind around my current job but I don’t love my reasons for choosing it- financial security. This also makes me feel selfish because I feel like I will be letting my family down if I make less money and I don’t end up enjoying teaching.

I’ve gotten coached on this but don’t have the clarity that I want. The “sense of urgency” is that a teacher who I oversee is retiring so I may be able to take his job; well I would at least be able to apply for it. I guess it’s unknown as to whether the district would even hire me at the top of the salary guide 120k. Schools are under a union model so salaries are not independently decided. What am I not seeing that my brain is doing to make this so difficult? Thanks for your help.