Deeper on Topic -other people


Saw Brooke coaching woman on passive aggressiveness – saying no you were not coming from this emotion to take that action.

The other person can feel that and responds the way they do.

I have a few situations – I love them, we have quality loving relationship.

One person – I don’t think she makes time in her schedule for me.

I’m pretty flexible in my schedule.
So I’ll say yes often short notice.

She’ll often want to plan in detail way at length.
Just for an hour.
And I’m usually thinking we could have just been hanging out right then.

She’ll often say well its so hard to get our schedule to line up. Lol
When really she is making it hard in her T line.

And I’m doing things in my T line (she’s in scholars btw).

So – What I want help with is – none of this has to be a problem.
I’ve told her I’d like to hang out more.
I’ve told her that it’s not hard for our schedules at least for me at all, even short notice.
We love each other and I believe things are good.

When she doesn’t make time or we don’t hang out even once in a week – I want to be passive aggressive in responses back to her or in ignoring her – to be like how does it feel when you can’t just get a hold of me. . .

So – not gonna behave that way.
I want to think thoughts like I’m happy to see her when we do.
I love her.
She’s so fun.
She’s nerdy like me.
We have great conversations.

My “problem” is my brain is well if we “let this go” then what? Will it keep going and we hang out less, will she be less working us into her schedule, will I be taken advantage of?

My initial thoughts are like I’m awake and aware and if we haven’t hung out for three weeks then I can say hey lets hang out- if our friendship peters out it wasn’t meant to be.

I want to be different around this. I want to not have a problem w/ it being any amount if time since we last hang out. I want to be able to say hey we’re not hanging out much lately – do you want to? – without the mind drama of oh it means this or that.

Sorry – long
Thank you