^Defeat – a dispensible barrier?

hi Brooke

I buffered like hell yesterday. I just did, and that’s in the past. I’ve modelled today on why I think that only buffering will relieve my tension.

I realised that the bottom line of my distress when I’m feeling sick and/or can’t achieve what I want is a cycle:
Too sick/tired to do X
Disappointment in self
Feeling useless, helpless, weak, failure

The piece in this I need to change is DEFEAT. That’s where I fall off the cliff.

If I can accept feeling anxious, self-blaming and disappointed and just hold my bad mood in one hand, I can still hold a bit of faith and courage and resilience in the other hand. If I dig deep, there’s always a twinkle there. I’ve always left a light on.

I need practice in effectively interrupting my thought and changing it for a better one, then persisting until i actually FEEL the better feeling.

Does that sound OK to you? Or how would you frame it?
(probably still not your best student but not giving up either)