Depressed Boyfriend


My boyfriend is struggling at work and is very unhappy. He will spend hours complaining and going through these cycles of hopelessness, anger, “but I like the work”, etc. over and over every night. He asks for advice but shoots down everything as impossible. I can fully empathize. I’ve been in similar situations and I DEFINITELY know those thoughts. It’s Woe Is Me- the greatest hits and they get stuck in your head so easy! I’m doing my own thought work on it and trying to just love him and not judge him and listen. But then last night he told me he just wishes I was on his side. Now I’m having thoughts about not being a good girlfriend, but also not wanting to get in the mud with him because I know it won’t help and will make me mad too. I’m also so sad about it because I can see how all his suffering is unnecessary. I know this is nothing about me, and I can’t change his thoughts or feelings. But this is actually making me feel worse not better. I suggested he might want to find a coach and he’s like “but I have you.” I’m definitely too close to this right?