My partner has depression, when he has a spell of depression I find it very difficult to know how to behave.

Since being in scholars I am way more positive and take far more responsibility for myself and my emotions than ever before. I now understand that someone else’s emotions do not need to affect me, but they do. If my partner is in a bit of a bad mood I’m getting slightly better at not taking over and trying to make it all better, but when he’s depressed I find myself just getting annoyed. Part of me wants to say ‘snap out of it’ and I know this is awful and extremely unhelpful (I would never say it). I’ve been there, so why would i want to say something like this? I do always tell him I am there for him, then I just get annoyed and anxious and I feel trapped.
It also makes me feel really sad and anxious when he’s like this. I don’t want him to feel that way and it consumes my day. I don’t know how to separate myself from it. We live in a small house so its hard to escape the bad energy.
Sometimes I think I should tell him I’ll leave if things don’t change but this seems cruel if he is depressed (as opposed to moping around feeling sorry for himself, how do you know the difference?)

Could you take a look at my model please?

C Depressed partner
T Snap out of it
F Frustration
A not enjoying my day, feeling sad, frustrated, anxious
R Bad atmosphere is made even worse, now I’m in a bad mood too

C Depressed partner
T He’s having a bad day, this doesn’t mean I need to have a bad day too
F neutral
A no resistance, carry on with my day
R no added tension to the situation