Developing new friendships

I have known for quite some time that I could use more friendships in my life. I am hitting a reality that I better make this a priority because I am 63. Over the years I chose to not pursue relationships or keep working at ones that were difficult because I was too busy getting a lot of therapy and quite frankly the friends that I did have were suitable to me at the time because I was raising my family and handling life as well as I knew how at the time. I am in scholars because I became an integrative health coach and realized I needed a lot more coaching of myself before I could delve into coaching other people. My dream is to have a mix of health coaching and life coaching in some fashion as I slowly move into retirement from my medical career. But I am more deathly afraid of not having people in my life more than I am of trying new things. It is 2 weeks before my son’s wedding and this fear of loss and that there is no one out there for me is just rearing its ugly head. I know I will make a coach appointment next but this was my first stop!!! I did rely on my childhood trauma a lot to keep me staying small and hidden and protected by my husband but I am so wanting to fly on my own of course with him but alongside him with a flock of family and friends and clients to share the rest of my life with however long that may be. I just need to know your thoughts.