Hello,

My husband has just told me that he is leaving me.

We have a lot of love and respect for each other and have not intentionally hurt each other, but he says that the gap between us is too wide, that we have made too many irreparable mistakes and that we cannot make each other happy. In addition, he has fallen in love with someone else.

We talk about it a lot. We bring out everything we never dared to tell each other. It makes me grow up. I understand many things, I regret, I learn. I see silver lining in the fact that I am evolving to become a better person because of this unspeakable crisis. And I want to grow even more.

Of course I go through a thousand emotions, a thousand thoughts and a thousand Models.
But the one I want to talk about today is not not the anger one, nor despair, nor infinite sadness.

I want to talk about the fact that in spite of everything that is happening, I remain totally convinced that he and I are made for each other, for life. I married him, I carried his children, and I love him as I did on the first day. And I don’t give up. I have faith in us, in our love, and sometimes (when I’m not sinking into the worst despair), I tell myself that this is just a phase to evolve, to grow, to be better and better, an enormous bump in our road, but that it’s still our path, and that he will live his story with this woman and it won’t work out well between them, that I will learn about myself and him too, and then he will come back to me. And that our second period will be even more beautiful. Because it’s us. Because we are made for each other. Because that’s the way it is. He will come back, in 2 months, in 6 months, or in 2 years.

My question: is this “faith” in us a harmful denial, or can I keep it? Is it an unhealthy way to escape from reality? What is the boundary between denial and hope?

Thank you.