Difficulties in accepting reality

My daughter was diagnosed with gender dysphoria as well as anorexia and severe depression around 2 years ago.
When she told me originally via a message, I did not react very well – I basically freaked out and said that this is not acceptable.
Since then, we have not spoken about the subject.
I do not see this being her ‘true problem’, and so do her therapists. They assume that she feels rejected and unloved, and recommended that I have a chat with her and tell her that she’s loved unconditionally. According to them, a lot of her issues are very deep and complex, and it is difficult to pin them down (this is the therapists words, not mine).
I feel, that we won’t have a proper relationship, if this is the case because it would not be good for her or me, as I think so strongly about this subject.
I was recommended to have an open discussion with her about the subject, but even that is impossible for me. I feel totally disgusted and resistant to just think about it. I do not want to acknowledge or accept it. I am aware what this can create on the long run.
I am wondering how I can at least make peace with this issue and have a chat about it. I am just furious about it.