Dinner with husband


I have a dinner planned with my husband and I’m not all that excited. The thought I have is that I would love us to talk during dinner, but he doesn’t. (He has said he doesn’t mind talking, just as the food is there he likes to eat it before it gets cold; he’s particular about food being hot).  In other conversations I notice he rarely asks follow up questions and I make that mean he’s not interested in what I have to say/not interested in me.

This is the model I’ve done:
C: Noticing our dinner date on the calendar and noticing I’m not that excited.
T: He’s not interested in talking to me, not interested in my experience
F: Rejected
A: I don’t share. I keep things to myself. I ask him about him. I try and resign myself to my own interest being enough.
R: There’s more quiet during the meal and I keep assuming he’s not interested.

When I flip the thought to he IS interested, I can find plenty of good feeling thoughts that feel true. I also understand that it’s not very realistic to expect him to be as excited about my stuff as I am, or to hang on my every word.

But I still don’t feel eager for the dinner. I want to change this without asking him to change (because I’ve gone into fix it mode before and I didn’t like the results) and feel eager about the dinner.

What do you suggest I change about my thinking?
I can find plenty of things about the evening and about the restaurant and things to feel good about, but I want to feel better about the conversation specifically.

Thank you.