Disabilities and the workplace

I’m having a pretty hard day. I hate being told I was told or taught ‘X’ 2 times already. I’m trying my best to learn and retain information, I’ve been taking notes, but apparently its not good enough.

I hate telling others that I have disabilities and that I am a slow learner because the disabilities I have impair how well I learn or recall information. I feel so depressed after telling someone about my disabilities and I make it mean I won’t succeed, I won’t get promoted, I’ll be treated poorly, or I’ll lose my job. I just want to quit now honestly, I’m so emotionally and physically drained .

I’ve been a slow learner for sometime but revealing my disabilities and slower pace of learning to my last Employer resulted in me being fired. I was told there might be an Employer willing to work with me and help me learn.

I can’t go through losing a job again. I can’t take another hit mentally and physically. I still can’t run today due to how depressed I was at my last job. I’d really like to be supported and know exactly how I can be promoted even with the disabilities I have. I just wish employers understood how much harder it is for me to work at the same level as everyone else and help me brainstorm accommodations so it is possible to be promoted.

I didn’t want anyone at work to know about my disabilities and now that some do, I already notice that I’m being treated differently like I’m the weak link. It really sucks ! I honestly don’t think I’ll be promoted or find a job that pays more than I make now.

I’m so frustrated, upset, and depressed I don’t know where to go from here. Below is my unintentional model. Any suggestions ?

C: Coworker says she’s already told me about ‘X’ two times already.
T: She has no idea how hard it is for me to learn new things
F: Frustrated
A: I tell coworker that I have disabilities and need her to be patient. I beat myself up for telling coworker that I have disabilities. I cry. I don’t do tasks on calendar.I beat myself up for being a slow learner. I don’t do anything at work. I don’t eat lunch.
R: I have no idea how hard it is to learn new things.

Also I’m not sure how my R line is true?