Disappointed in Myself

Hi Coaches,
I just can’t seem to get it, I keep failing at doing this work. I am only comfortable when I am alone. There I can be present and see the things I am doing wrong. I fail with other people. I keep making manuals; I keep reacting to others in my work. I fail miserably with my models surrounding my anxieties. I keep having thought loops. Why can’t I get this? It has been 5 months now of SCS and 52 years of life before that and I just can’t seem to be the person I want to be. Do I resolve to fail?