Since pre-COVID 2020 I haven’t hired a cleaner for my home —- until this week. I hired a company that looked promising to do a deep clean yesterday. I was really looking forward to it. My home was dirty.

Unfortunately, even after the cleaning, it still is.

The cleaner came yesterday and we got along really well. I even ended up tipping her. But after she left I noticed basic cleaning items that had not been done. She did not fulfill my list. This morning I found all of these places where she completely skipped over, left lots of dirt, and some areas never saw the touch of a sponge.

I feel ANGRY at the lack of attention to detail. Like how are you going to clean the bathroom and leave all kinds of soot, dirt, and grime next to and behind the toilet? It’s your job!!!!

I’ve wasted my time. And now I’m wasting more time communicating with the cleaning company sending them photos and videos of a job not well done.

I’m aware of my T: I shouldn’t have to deal with this.

I feel especially disappointed because I wanted to feel elated to see nothing but clean surfaces all throughout my home. Especially since it’s been so long. And I did feel that elation when I booked the service imagining the clean surfaces. But now the work has been done and those surfaces are not clean and I feel livid and disappointed.

I know this is part of the 50-50 and I wish this didn’t bother me as much as it does. I feel righteous indignation. Lots of disappointment. I’m afraid they might not refund me or they might not send another worker to finish the job without me paying again. I’m afraid I’m going to have to spend more time trying to find another cleaning service to come in if this doesn’t work out.

Parts of my home have been filthy for so long and this should’ve been handled yesterday. I have plans for company to come over and I’m not gonna bring them into this.

I want my focus and attention on building my coaching business which is why I outsourced this cleaning so the fact that I am still dealing with this cleaning and taking away my attention from what I want to be spending my time doing has me peeved.

I would like to think about this whole situation in a different way… In a way that leaves me feeling centered, grounded, and self-assured that everything is going to work out beautifully, divinely, and I don’t actually have anything to worry about.

I want to trust that I’ll have a clean home and that every cleaning area of focus will be thoroughly cleaned to my satisfaction.

I don’t feel that right now.