Disaster Fantasies

I have thoughts about disasters, like little dramatic fantasies, that are unintentional and alluring. I’ve done some examination but notice I skitter away quickly, most likely from fear that I will discover that something truly is seriously wrong with me (narcissistic attention whore or something of that ilk). Don’t want to go there.

Often the drama plays out with me being the victim or the hero; some terrible circumstance that I bravely recover from or rescue someone else from. Sometimes I think I’m practicing to be prepared should something happen, but I know that doesn’t really work. It’s interesting how I place myself in the starring role.

They are not always present, but concerning when they are. Since I’m digging around exposing and examining the things that frighten or derail me, I thought I’d let this shameful little secret see the light of day. I tried to figure out how to do a model, but then there was that skitter thing. So, I’m posting it here in hopes you have some suggestions for unpacking this bothersome background drama.

Otherwise, great things happening all over the place: mind management, weight loss, peace, joy. SCS has been the catalyst I needed to take all the ingredients I had on hand and combine them into action. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

C – Disaster fantasy (ex. hubby dropping dead)
T – That would be awful.
F – Shame
A – Resistance thinking about it
R – Keeps coming around (doesn’t match T), though it is awful…so maybe?

C – Disaster fantasy
T – I will get attention.
F – Shame
…same as above

Intentional (started with F)
C – Disaster fantasy
T – I see I keep having these thoughts
F – Curious
A – Post on “Ask Brooke”
R – See a direction forward?

Thank you.