Discontent with husband

I have a hard time with my relationship with my husband. No matter what he does, in my mind it will never be enough. I am always discontent with him. He is a good guy, a good dad, but has no dreams, no projects, nothing to talk about. He just hides in the cave! I have high expectations of how he should be, think, behave (like I do with myself). I know it’s my manual! It’s hard not to look down on him when I see his thought failures, his lazyness, his phone addiction, his lack of decisiveness.

I want to live an exciting life, and I thought I would build that with my husband. He just feels like an obstacle in my life instead of an enabler and a partner. (I could go on and on.)

Unintentional Model
C: My husband
T: No matter what he does, it’s never enough
F: Discontent
A: Don’t feel like talking to him, don’t like when he touches me, I am annoyed just looking at him, I spend less time with him, I organize activities with the kids and leave him out
R: Creating an ordinary marriage (staying for the kids).

Intentional Model
C: My husband
T: I am learning to believe he is doing his best
F: Content
A: Do my own things, don’t rely on him for all my needs, laugh it off when he initially says NO to everything I suggest, accept him for who he is, let him be happy with his simpler life, not trying to “show him the way”
R: Creating a happier marriage for me.

Even that T seems a little far fetched! I wish a could control him just a little!
Please tell me all the things about my models and help me let go of my manual for my husband.