Divorce – legally obligated to lie – in best interest of children?
Please help, I am stuck with this model. Thank you!
C1: Husband has written… “I lied to you, deceived you, blamed you, betrayed your trust,” = affair(s).
C2: Husband has failed to keep word to daughters and me.
C3: document says: each party shall exert every effort to maintain free access and unhampered contact between the child and the other party, and to foster a feeling of affection between the child and the other Party. Neither Party shall do anything which would estrange the child from the other, which would injury the opinion of the child as to his or her mother or father, or would impair the natural development of the child’s love and respect for the other Party.
T: I have to lie to my daughters. This is perfect for him, he can continue to be an asshole to me even related to topics related to them, and I have to lie to them and pretend that he is a wonderful human being. I’m being manipulated. (all these thoughts lead to the same feeling = anger)
A: ruminate about what a perfect situation this is for a lying person, and for him to build a relationship with them based upon false pretense…. Think of how he will one day do the same to them he has done to me and to his family. Tell self I messed up, and I will make it worse by protecting him and telling his lies.
R: still feel angry/resentful, still supporting his lying/pretending