I’m trying to decide when I should do a model and modify my thoughts so that they serve me OR whether I should discuss an issue with my partner.
My partner and I are traveling overseas next month for my brother’s wedding. We have been together 3 years and he has never met my family or friends. I am very excited for him to meet them. He, however, is not excited about the trip and has whined about it to his mother and friends. My thought is “I hate it that he is whining to other people about something to do with me.” My feeling is disrespected. I also think “If he loved me more/enough, he would be excited to go on this trip” and the feeling is rejection/unloved. My actions are zero at this stage other than think about it in my head and my result is anxiety about the upcoming trip (not sure if a feeling can be a result ?).
My alternative thought is “I allow my partner to be who he is” and the feeling is acceptance or neutral which I agree serves me better. My actions are to plan my trip and my result is excitement about my trip.
I guess my question is whether or not I should raise this with him or just work on my own feelings around it?