I’ve been dating someone for 3 months. Everything had been amazing. We had a situation (that I wrote here about previously) where I was disappointed when he didn’t spend the night after saying he would because I made that mean that he wasn’t that interested. Honestly I don’t even care about spending the night but I got wrapped up in it because I was projecting a past pattern of mistrust from a previous relationship.

And then it turns out that he made my reaction mean that we aren’t a good fit based on thoughts about his past where he felt like he was constantly disappointing someone. Basically it seems like he is scared to get into a dramatic relationship like he’s had in the past so he’s failing ahead of time. He said he wants time to think, and I haven’t heard anything in 48 hours.

I want to text him and tell him I’m thinking about him and see what’s going on. Because I hate not knowing. But I’ve also been reading some relationship advice about how men generally need to have time to miss us and need to be allowed to pursue us. And I have had the thought that if he isn’t going to come back and contact me and care just because one small thing happened, then he’s not right for me. But that’s painful because I really want another chance to see what can happen between us. I’m spinning in indecision and sadness and desperation.