I have been really working on allowing the urges to overeat without doing it – feeling the discomfort, sometimes panic, and trying to be curious about the thoughts causing those feelings. And…it feels like ass. Just like you said.
I’m now at a point where it is definitely not fun, but I can live with being uncomfortable and handle that feeling without overeating. But, after 100 allowed urges in a row without overeating, do I just no longer feel uncomfortable when I don’t eat something that I want? I have never had any alcohol, and grew up that way for religious purposes, but I have truly never desired a drink. It’s just totally unappealing. I’ve gone to bars and happy hours and never feel uncomfortable or like I am denying myself when I order water and everyone else gets a drink. It’s just not even something I think about. There have even been times when people have commented, “Oh you don’t drink WHY not? Don’t you HATE being the only one not drinking?!” And it truly doesn’t phase me.
But if I were out to eat with friends, I would HATE ordering on protocol and get really defensive and uncomfortable if people questioned what I was eating. I would definitely want ALL the carbs at the table. I’m now okay with feeling that discomfort and going out anyway, but my question is, will I get to a point where I feel about food the way I feel about alcohol? Where it’s just not really something I think about, people can have all kinds of opinions on what I eat and I truly don’t care (by the way, I recognize that sensitivity to what people say is because they’re echoing my own belief). Or, will I just become so used to allowing the discomfort that it will come naturally?