Are there ever instances where we want to choose to have a manual?

For instance, I want my husband to come home at night, not drink and drive, be monogamous. These are things that are important to me and are different from other things in my manual that I am willing to drop (e.g. sharing housework).

I know that we can’t have expectations for others unless they are children or employees..does that mean the goal is to drop ALL expectations of other adults? Would I describe wanting my husband to be monogamous as a ‘want’ rather than an expectation or manual?