Does Unwanted but need to allow or Indulgent Feelings conflict with Why Hurt your Feelings

Hi Brooke, Six month SCS Student – Loving it! Lots of work…
Question in the November -Mastering Emotional Balance
I listened to your Life Coaching Call November 14, 2018. The last two calls about wanting partners to change.. really put me in a spiral. It really is wonderful to be a healthy loving person and to be able to love in a healthy way.
I have been divorced for about 5 years now – Unwanted and extremely hard to work through. The Models have helped me to see that the relationship was complete, I have taken responsibility for several very damaging beliefs that did not serve me at all and in fact contributed to the relationship ending. My husband had no idea of my beliefs – i.e., he was responsible for my happiness, I felt like I was nothing, his money was mine but my money was not his, crazy things like that because I kept them hidden inside. When he found out, he was deeply hurt, angered, and did not like me at all in the end.

I have worked on the concept of not hurting your feelings, and have managed to complete several intentional models that help me to move one. However I feel like I have PTSD sometimes and can’t believe how my terrible behavior drove a wonderful person away.

In the November workbook, I am working on an unintentional model:
C Paul left me 5 years ago
T Today I can’t stop thinking about how I failed
F Failure
A Cry all day long
R Have a really gloomy outlook

So – Is this an Unwanted but need to allow feeling, or an indulgent feeling. (Or can it be both)
I am trying to work on the Don’t hurt your feelings – by changing my thoughts…

One more question: is the Intentional Model to be on the same circumstance?
C Paul left me 5 years ago
T That relationship was complete, now I am looking forward to meeting someone new with my new outlook
F Encouraged
A Love myself more
R Happy to be human